CapN' Cod!!!-~Preview

You were just setting your "Witches Brew" soda back down on the end table when you hear it begin..."Oh sweet merciful savior. Strike me Dead now!..." You think to yourself as the first twinkling chimes of the peppy jingle begin. It's somewhere between elevator music and a cartoon pirate shanty. And then The Voice starts singing...It should be a duet of soprano teenage girls. He doesn't sing he shout/mumbles his voice coarse with Cigarettes, Booze and Brooklynn. "Come ta Capn Cod's! Fine Fish and TaaaAAAaaayyyy-Terrrrs! (A belch he drags on his smoke.) It'll be lots O' Fun, (Burp) Fer evereeeEEEEE!!! ONE! (Drag!) At Capn' Cod's FUN!!! Fish and TaaaayyyyTERZ!!! (A sped up legal voices starts speaking. asubsidiariaryofthe TATER-TRON corporationcapncodisalisecensedtrademarkedproduct....it continues and somehow itterates an encyclopedias worth of legal jargon in less time than the jingle.) The little one starts screaming first and then the bigger one starts with the puppy eyes. You almost reach for the yard stick...Meh, screw it, you're hungry and there's one within tripping distance. CAPN' COD's TATERTASTIC FISH N' FUNLAND COMING SOON!!! Be Afraid!